Spiritual Viewpoints

by Rick Smith

Anger

A Little Golf Will Do You

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SPIRITUAL VIEWPOINTS

Years ago at Black Mountain Golf Course in Henderson, Nevada, my late father-in-law, John Whitehead, was beside himself in frustration. We’d just teed off on the eighth hole, a simple 190-yard par three. I hit my ball at least 180 of the 190 yards, smack-dab in the middle of a sand trap.

sand-trap

Neither John, nor I, were upset at first. It wasn’t until my seventh swipe at the ball that our temperatures began to rise. He stood several feet to the left of me, giving instructions on the proper procedure to hit a ball out of a sand trap. Meantime, I was swinging away like Paul Bunyan with an ax to a sapling and going nowhere.  John didn’t understand that I wanted to get out of this hole on my own, and he just wouldn’t stop yapping. I’m sure he thought I was ignorant for not listening to him and that I needed remedial golf lessons. I did.

Before I picked up my ball and threw it on the green (when he wasn’t looking), I’d upset him so much he decided to walk back to the club house and catch a cab home. Of course, I maintained a cool head and persuaded him to calm down. NOT! I was madder than a wet hen, and if it hadn’t been for my wife falling out of the golf cart on the way to the next hole, the fuss would have continued over that sand trap!

James said, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:17-18).

For years John and I made a running joke of that incident, and Betty has a scarred arm from her fall. I also have a remembrance of how easy it is to lose one’s temper over nothing – a game of golf. James also said, “Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door” (James 5:9)!

Life is full of bumps and bruises. We need to ride them out ~ no pun Betty. I wasn’t pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, merciful, full of good fruit, or anything else worthy. All because of a golf ball, no, because I forgot to whom I belong.

John won fair and square. He always did! He’s in Heaven now ~ probably giving golf lessons to angels.

A Gentle Answer

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Do you ever get so angry you could scream? Traffic, kids, work, marriage, any one of those areas or a hundred others could be the point of aggravation. Do you know it’s okay to get angry? James wrote, “In your anger do not sin” (James 4:26). That means there’s appropriate and inappropriate anger.

Like most everything, there are healthy boundaries, even with anger. Getting so angry you could scream may borderline on the edge.

Do you know how to keep others from being angry with you? It’s a lesson we all need to learn. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” For instance, there are at least two ways to say “No”. I can always tell which one my wife is using by the tone of her voice. She can either say “NO!”, or “No”. When she says “NO!”, I’m intelligent enough not to pursue the conversation. On the other hand, when she asks me a question and I’m so busy that I don’t want to be disturbed, I can either say, “What?”, or “WHAT?”. If I yell a sharp “WHAT?”, troubles brewing.

Do you see how this works? A gentle answer is soothing, and will invite the same in return. A harsh word stirs up anger, boils the blood, lights the fire, and is generally not a wise thing to do.

Another Proverb helps explain the first, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18). If we determine to patiently speak to others we can stop problems before they happen. On the other hand, if we have a hot-temper, we’re going to pay for it. Isn’t the Bible practical? Don’t you wish you were as practical as it? With practice, you can be.

It may take some tongue-biting to develop the gentle patient ability to answer others calmly. It would be too simplistic to say this is what the world needs now. But It is what you and I need now. We need it in our families, at work, in traffic, and when someone asks us if we’re gaining weight. Come on, you know you’d be a happier person if you always gave a gentle answer.

In your anger do not sin!